Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
Bent Cold


bent cold       as
church bells climbing a trellis
      of fog and the smell          
                     of hammer on head
     of copper nail –
                               of clouds rushed ragged
        as wheat stubble strewn wild by a brazen sky
             and the bustle
                                   of tongueless wasps
             come to sing blood songs
        in the fork of a pecan tree – songs
             of how a life must live on,
                how a life must rise to find its riot, how
          it cannot remain under the uncounted
    leaves falling into the mud of a rugged path
because that would be proof
                that the day is
for Giuliana :iconpoetatriste:

I wasn't going to post this yet because I thought I might still be messing with it, but she asked for a little something. Maybe this is good enough to be a little something.

Maybe something is all we need. :D

OF
1. expressing the relationship between a part and a whole 2. expressing the relationship between a scale or measure and a value 3. indicating an association between two entities, typically one of belonging 4. expressing a relationship between a direction and a point of reference 5. expressing the relationship between a general category and the thing being specified which belongs to such a category 6. indicating the material or substance constituting something

Dave Prisk
Add a Comment:
 
:iconearl-of-slander:
Earl-of-Slander Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2008
Curse you! Why must you end such a magnificent poem on a cliff-hanger!
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2008  Student Writer
Well,....it loops back to start over if you want to read it that way..."This Is Suddenly About" and "that" employ the same structure (in my gallery) :) You are very kind to compliment it so :D
Reply
:iconsetzuo:
Setzuo Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
wow man..... ife is much more than any human could ever make it to be, huh?

Beautiful piece.
I'm writing something to correspond with this one.

Hope you don't mind. Won't stop me, either way.
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2008  Student Writer
I don't mind at all - I look forward to it for sure!! And thank you for the :+fav:
Reply
:iconnakedxsnapex:
nakedxsnapex Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2008
FUCKING AWESOME! ULTIMATE SUCCESS!
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2008  Student Writer
I am always thrilled to be able to get close to the Epic Win experience :D
Reply
:iconnakedxsnapex:
nakedxsnapex Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2008
hahaha! WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY!
Reply
:iconswallowbastion:
swallowbastion Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2008
Absolutely wonderful imagery. It's so vivid. Great idea to amplify the imagery through the placemnet of the poems's lines.
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2008  Student Writer
Thank you Faye :D I was hoping to work it so we could all feel the cold - and to see the relation of each piece to the next in making cold what it is ... all the while working with a speaker that is trying not to get lost in only that :)
Reply
:iconswallowbastion:
swallowbastion Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2008
You're so welcome. :)
You definitely achieved your goal, Dave.
(I adore poems that deal with the cold and anything related to winter.)
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2008  Student Writer
:D I am very pleased then :D
Reply
:iconpseudometry:
pseudometry Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2008   Writer
Oooh but this has some grand imagery in it. And the cyclical nature of it, both the piece generally and the clouds and wheat description specifically.
I've said it before, but I'll say it again: I enjoy tremendously what you do. Always freshens my own musings and scribblings.
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2008  Student Writer
:D You are a prince Jamie -- and I wouldn't think of your work as scribbling :D
Reply
:iconpseudometry:
pseudometry Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2008   Writer
Prince Jamie--now that has a ring to it :D
Haha. I think thinking of your own stuff as scribbling is the prerogative of every writer/artist. Almost everyone does it.
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2008  Student Writer
true - :D I'll grant you that
Reply
:iconone-dryad:
one-dryad Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
yesyes: :dance: :faint:
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2008  Student Writer
:)
Reply
:iconcolonelfitz:
ColonelFitz Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2008
I like the images in this.

the bustle
of tongueless wasps
come to sing blood songs
in the fork of a pecan tree


Yum. :)

The way the ending connects back to beginning makes my head spin. In a good way. :hug:
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2008  Student Writer
:glomp: Thank you - and for he wonderful :+fav:s too :D You're such a peach :D
Reply
:iconcolonelfitz:
ColonelFitz Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2008
A peach? I can live with a being a peach. :D
Reply
:iconasthenightmoves:
AsTheNightMoves Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Yet another beautiful poem, your imagery paints such a beauteous portrait in my mind. Very well done. ;]
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2008  Student Writer
Thanks Em :D :hug:
Reply
:iconasthenightmoves:
AsTheNightMoves Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
oh, no problem XD
Reply
:icontworoads:
Tworoads Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2008
Really like how your form in this adds a greater effect to your imagery. ;)
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2008  Student Writer
Thank you Noah :) and thank you for the :+fav:
Reply
:icontworoads:
Tworoads Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2008
Welcome!
Reply
:iconchugglepuff:
chugglepuff Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2008
of clouds rushed ragged
as wheat stubble strewn wild by a brazen sky

I love how this image is almost cyclical in itself. Very very good indeed. :thumbsup: Quite a little something.
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2008  Student Writer
:hug: Thank you for the super supportive feedback :)
Reply
:iconcatnipkitty:
catnipkitty Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2008
I love your descriptions in this one! :clap: The "hammer on the heads of copper nails" is a wonderful line. And you're able to make it both a visual and a sort of smell at the same time. Very nice work my friend! :clap:
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2008  Student Writer
:hug: thank you - and thank you for the :+fav: as well :D. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Reply
:iconcatnipkitty:
catnipkitty Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2008
You're quite welcome! :hug:
Reply
:icony0urstalker:
y0urstalker Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2008
as it turns full cycle.

well take a bow dear magical trevor.
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2008  Student Writer
:bow: I shall; how could I deny you :)
Reply
:iconryanxcole:
RyanXCole Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2008
Beautiful imagery.

It reminds me me of someone.
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2008  Student Writer
Thank you ....I wonder who it might remind you of :D...Thank you for the :+fav: as well.
Reply
:iconryanxcole:
RyanXCole Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2008
Eh. Someone I lost.

You're welcome :3
Reply
:iconanathamani:
Anathamani Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Another masterful piece of "painting with words".

Looking forward to more! :)
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2008  Student Writer
:D thank you
Reply
:iconyouinventedme:
YouInventedMe Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2008   Writer
wonderful imagery, dave.


xo!
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2008  Student Writer
Thanks Shane :)
Reply
:iconpoetatriste:
PoetaTriste Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2008
you're wonderful.....

:hug: :hug: and more :hug:
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2008  Student Writer
:D
Reply
:iconpoetatriste:
PoetaTriste Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2008
little "sumptins" go a long way in my world

and yes, sometimes, a little something
is exactly what we need.


thanks :)
Reply
:iconb1gfan:
b1gfan Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2008  Student Writer
:D
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconb1gfan: More from b1gfan


Featured in Collections

Poetry by one-dryad

Literature by angeleyes2480


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
September 26, 2008
File Size
881 bytes
Thumb

Stats

Views
574
Favourites
13 (who?)
Comments
44
×